Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
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Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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