If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
