I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize