i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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