All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
