Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
