when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize