So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
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just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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