it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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