very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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