Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
