When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
