do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
A bitchslap is in order.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
