This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
