You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
