Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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