is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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