i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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