My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
