So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
