its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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