I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
