She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
im on a boat
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