I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
