oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
