You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
