No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
My pussy is not your playground.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
