I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
