When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
