it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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