You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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