woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You are a genius and a whore.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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