READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
they're like a gay fantastic four
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
