I just pynch a tree in the face
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
