He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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