Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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