We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
