I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
