Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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