he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
