NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
