i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
