Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
