I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
