Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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