This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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