I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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