We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
