i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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