I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
