I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
