Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize