I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
