i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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