She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize