when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
