Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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