I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
