Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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