I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
