make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
